From Sinners In the Hands of God (young girl)

I do not like to go to church. It scares me. I want to tell Mama that I don't want to go anymore, but I think she will get mad at me. Her and Papa always talk about how everything is for God. God always comes first before anything. Like Reverend said to day in church, "nothing but the mere pleasure of God..." But I don't understand why we have to be so nice to God when he hates us so much. He thinks all of us are bad people. Today in church Reverend kept saying, "anger and wrath of god..." He even said, "It is everlasting wrath." That means that God will always be mad and hate us. He will never forgive us for not being the way he wants us to be. I don't know what I did to make God so mad at me.

Today at church Reverend said something that made me so scared that my body felt cold and tingley. He said, "The God that holds you over the pit of hell..." Why am I supposed to love and do everything for someone who is like this? I don't want to go to hell, but God will make all of us go. He won't let us go to Heaven with him. We have all sinned too much. Sometimes I wonder if I just don't believe in God, will I be safe? Would something like that work? I decided to ask Mama.

When I asked Mama about my way to stay out of hell she got mad at me. She started yelling, and she even slapped me across the face. She said, "If you every say anything like that again you will not be allowed in this family. I don't know where you will go. No one will want you in their house. Even if you don't believe in God, you will go to hell. Especially since you said such a horrific thing like that!" Mama was so mad at me. I didn't know it was a bad thing to ask. She sounded just like Reverend. I guess I have to believe in God even though he hates us all. I just don't understand.